My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Randomize
