Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
