She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
