Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
