grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
