doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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