i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
