So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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