we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
