You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I need to calm my uterus...
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
