I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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