so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
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