If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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