can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
