Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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