i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
