i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
