He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
