kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
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