we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
