her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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