i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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