absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
