If i could tip my vagina, i would.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
