dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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