I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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