have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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