i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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