You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
