If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Randomize
