I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
