alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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