I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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