That's when you crack a 10am beer
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
