Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
