I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Acid is not a monday night drug
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
