I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
