Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
