Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
