why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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