I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
