Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
lets start a swedish sibling band together
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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