Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
