he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
