I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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