so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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