I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
