That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
