Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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