He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
