Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
